Depression is draining as f**k. Not only to experience it but to lend someone an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on, just by association it can suck the life out of you. And this is why I advise you to befriend as many people as possible. It sounds drastic but after fifteen years of dealing with depression I have no doubt that learning how to gauge my close friendships and having various people with varying skills has been a huge benefit to me.
There’s the friend I call when I need deep wisdom. There is the friend that I can merely just bawl into the phone with. There is the friend I know won’t take any bull sh*t, i.e. me bawling on the phone. There’s a bosom friend, who will just hold me. There’s the friend who will tell me what I need to hear. There’s the hard ass. There’s the friend that can truly relate on some level. Now some of these may sound similar but trust me they are all different and valued in their own way. And the list continues.
It is the nature of depression that I think makes it a challenge to deal with as an outsider. It’s persistent and at times illogical. The person can’t see it any other way, or feels so burdened that nothing can make them feel better. As an outsider, this concept just seems bizarre. And I know I’ve felt that frustration from some of my friends. That moment where they put down their helping coat, in exchange for a you’re confusing and draining me coat – I can’t deal. And that’s okay. It is super tiring. And that is why you need a wide support system, so everybody can give you a bit of their shoulder without you crushing them.
Do you find having a large support group to be helpful?