Side by side, my depression and sleep issues have always been intertwined. Growing up, when I was a young teen I’d stay up watching Planet of the Apes with my brother and sleep in the next day until all sorts of afternoon hours. In University, I’d sleep through breakfast and that would throw off my entire appetite. Finally, as an adult on anti-depressants, I’d have the most vivid dreams that leave me feeling tired and never rested. There were times, I was on sleeping pills to combat the restlessness and would struggle to wake up in the mornings. As of the last year, I’ve been waking up 2am, 3am, 4am, 5am and now finally it’s evened out to 6 or 7am- which is a more normal time for me. Now, my sleep issue is staying in bed all day, actually sleeping, not feeling motivated enough to get up and live.
Last night I went to bed at 1am, today I slept until 4pm (woke up at 7am, 9am and 11am, merely to roll over and sleep again). I ate breakfast at 4pm, went back to bed and a light sleep, got up for dinner, went back to bed, then finally got up for good at 10pm (to be fair, I was feeling a bit sick, I’ve had a week of PMS and just a long week overall). My doctor has increased my medication because I told her I wasn’t motivated to get out of bed on the weekends. Not sure if it’s helping or not. Today it obviously hasn’t. I just don’t know what to do anymore. A lot of times, I’d rather lay down and give into sleep than get up and do anything at all.