That Little Voice in my Head

Similar to my posts on what causes my depression, I’ve also noticed my self-talk is pretty sh*tty. I don’t have a positive voice in my head supporting me or helping me flourish. A lot of my thoughts are negative and detrimental to my self-worth. I am very hard on myself and always putting myself down. They often compare me to others, a popular theme with my depression. Here is a general sample, not specific to a certain situation but you get the gist of it.

“So and so would never do that.”

“What would so and so think?”

“You’ll never amount to much.”

“You should be doing A, B or C instead. Why didn’t you do those things instead?”

Now for the looks category, which I’m sure every woman relates to.

“You’re not tall enough.”

“You’re too tall.”

“If only I weighed a bit more.”

“If only I weighed a bit less.”

If anything, the voice in my head should be my number one supporter! It should be pointing out all the good attributes and strengths I have. It should be my best friend and number one fan! I don’t know where this harsh voice came from. I do think I may have internalized some of the things my parents (and older siblings) said to me. And I’m not saying they abused me or anything like that. I think like most parents they were trying to get me to be the best version of myself. Again, for the millionth time, CBT could be a real solution to this problem, giving me more balanced realistic thoughts and self-talk than I’ve naturally developed.

One of the books recommended to me a long time ago by a therapist about self-talk (I should really actually finish it): What To Say When You Talk to Your Self

2 thoughts on “That Little Voice in my Head

  1. noimnotok says:

    Negative self-talk is something I struggle with a lot. After reading “The Happiness Trap” which covers ACT therapy I have a method which helps sometimes. I imagine the words I’m thinking are projected on a screen above eye level and slightly to the left or right. The words move around a bit, as though they’re floating. Projecting the words onto a screen takes them out of my head slightly, and it’s easier to distance myself from the thoughts rather than believing them. It’s like reading an advert on the side of a bus and thinking “I don’t believe that bullshit”.

    • Isabel Hunt says:

      Very interesting method. I’ve never heard of ACT therapy before. It sounds like it would be helpful though! Seeing is believing (or not believing in this case). I like how it separates you from the words and therefore gives you a more objective point of view.

      I.H.

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