Similar to my posts on what causes my depression, I’ve also noticed my self-talk is pretty sh*tty. I don’t have a positive voice in my head supporting me or helping me flourish. A lot of my thoughts are negative and detrimental to my self-worth. I am very hard on myself and always putting myself down. They often compare me to others, a popular theme with my depression. Here is a general sample, not specific to a certain situation but you get the gist of it.
“So and so would never do that.”
“What would so and so think?”
“You’ll never amount to much.”
“You should be doing A, B or C instead. Why didn’t you do those things instead?”
Now for the looks category, which I’m sure every woman relates to.
“You’re not tall enough.”
“You’re too tall.”
“If only I weighed a bit more.”
“If only I weighed a bit less.”
If anything, the voice in my head should be my number one supporter! It should be pointing out all the good attributes and strengths I have. It should be my best friend and number one fan! I don’t know where this harsh voice came from. I do think I may have internalized some of the things my parents (and older siblings) said to me. And I’m not saying they abused me or anything like that. I think like most parents they were trying to get me to be the best version of myself. Again, for the millionth time, CBT could be a real solution to this problem, giving me more balanced realistic thoughts and self-talk than I’ve naturally developed.
One of the books recommended to me a long time ago by a therapist about self-talk (I should really actually finish it): What To Say When You Talk to Your Self