White, black, old, young, tall, short: What different types of therapists are really like, Part lll

* Originally published March 20th, 2019

There were times I did meet a therapist and simply didn’t connect or like them and what they had to say, this is partly what led to such a high count of mental health professionals I’ve seen. It was never difficult for me to stop seeing someone right away, I mean if I can stop seeing a certain wax lady, I can stop therapy with someone because I’m not fond of their services.

Race and ethnicity is a big thing, it affects how you think, daily life, family history, etc. I would love to find a black female (or male) therapist one day! I did bring up race to my current therapist and she handled it pretty well! She was earnest and genuinely sympathetic to the plight I brought up, I was impressed, that could have gone real sideways.

I typically do a bit of role-rehearsal and ask the therapist personal questions once I am comfortable and feel that we have enough of a relationship to cross that line. Do you have kids? How many? Are you married? Where did you go to school (If I didn’t know already)? I’m sorry, I need to know what that person has experienced in their personal lives and where/what they studied. Who is this person I’m allowing to treat my mind and soul?

Advice:

1. Firstly, you have to work the system – health care is free in Canada but you have to get to know what you are working with and advocate for yourself in any health related cases which include mental health issues.
2. Don’t judge, try different professionals! You never know where that gem of advice might be! Don’t be stush!
3. Culture and race are important. The Jewish lady knew the pressure immigrant families can have on their children, and the dynamics of that type of family.
4. Age can be important depending on what you are looking for or the issues you are dealing with at the time.
5. You’re going to grow! Although all this switching was exhausting for me, well it kind of worked with my evolution as a woman and the stages of my depression and advancement in my coping skills.
6. Don’t push, if you honestly feel like you can’t discuss a certain topic or aren’t stable/strong enough at the time, don’t. Only do what you are ready for and only you can know that.
7. You’ve got to navigate around the money issue – find someone on a sliding scale based on income, see a student you connect with or a new grad.
8. There are sites with local listings, for instance professional association sites.
9. Ask around – does anyone know a GP who does therapy as well? Does your primary care office know of someone?
10. Check your coverage (like call them) – some cover social workers, all cover a certain amount per year. Maybe advocate for this type of coverage at your work with HR if you’re comfortable. Trust me, I highly doubt you are the only person at your job who needs therapy benefits.
11. Lastly, not every session is going to blow your mind, sometimes you have breakthroughs, some days you get nothing but release maybe, and others you leave with just one very special meaningful golden nugget!

It takes work and time but there is help out there and I wish you all the best on your search!

What has your experience been like with different therapists? 

Read Part I and Part II and of White, black, old, young, tall, short: What different types of therapists are really like

Content on this website may be triggering, please call 911 or go to the nearest hospital if you feel you are in a mental health crisis.