This is a super late post I know! But guess what? It's still January (a week and a half left I know) but I can still discuss New Year's resolutions right? Right? Going to anyway. Personally, I was feeling some very tangible anxiety over the Christmas break. A New Year already? Jesus, where did the … Continue reading New Year, New You? Handling New Year’s & Mental Illness
Now this has happened twice to me in the last year. But even the second time I feel hella good doing it/not standing for it. And that is odd for me because sometimes I can get down on myself instead. I am just too old for this foolishness. After meeting a suitor on Tinder (which … Continue reading When a man doesn’t drive you home. A dealbreaker? Hell yes!
Now this may sound selfish as there are probably a million reasons to value your life and time on this earth, but to be honest the number one reason I've never taken suicidal thoughts any further is because I am deathly afraid of death. It actually gives me anxiety when I think about it too … Continue reading Why I’ve never gone through with suicide
Today in therapy, I brought up the issue that I'm scared I couldn't take care of myself if I were to live alone after the breakup. My therapist kind of laughed at it (obviously in a like ha ha omg no way, way), so I started laughing and we just sat there and laughed for … Continue reading Today in Therapy
A particular pattern of behavior started for me in high school. I call it The Freak Out. There were rarely major tests where I didn't have anxiety and sometimes a honest to God good ol' freak out. But the joke was, I also rarely did badly, quite the opposite, I mostly performed exceptionally - it … Continue reading How I was Trained to be Depressed – Part 2: The Freak Out
I'm a pretty self-aware person. It's very rare that my friends and family will tell me something about myself that I don't already know. Now their opinions on my situation is another story (something that I welcome as it can help me see another side of things). But when it comes to me I mostly … Continue reading One of the Major Causes of My Depression – Part 1
I asked my friend what to write about tonight and I got the topic of "new beginnings" from her. To be honest, new beginnings scare me, one because you have to let go of the past and two because it opens you up to possible failure and new pain. I'm going through a lot right … Continue reading New Beginnings
I've noticed with my depression, it can be extremely difficult for me to concentrate. It's particularly affected my ability to finish reading novels. Which as a writer, is very upsetting. But with the book, it's been a bit of a plus because it's such a long drawn out process. It took me about three years … Continue reading Writing, Focus and Depression
Today was a hard day. I cried. A lot. I missed my ex. I've had to make some hard decisions recently, and not having him there as support proved to be rather difficult. After speaking with my sister, the question came to mind "Do I love myself?" because she mentioned taking care of oneself. She … Continue reading Do You Love Yourself?
Today in therapy, my therapist said sometimes everything in your life is just crappy. Now I can't fault her for using the word crappy, because to be fair I used the word first. But did she really need to say sometimes it's true! That is the last thing I want to hear, her acknowledging my … Continue reading Today In Therapy